The Leadership Habits That Quietly Erode Trust

Leadership is probably one of the most written-about skills in business today.

For decades, the mantra has been the same: faster, better, cheaper, smarter. However, in the world we now inhabit, one defined by constant change, competing priorities, and a workforce yearning for belonging, purpose, connection, and well-being, that mantra is becoming increasingly difficult to uphold.

Eric Hoffer captured this reality perfectly when he wrote:

“In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”

Leadership today isn’t simply about choosing a style.

Arthi Rabikrisson recently outlined thirteen distinct leadership approaches in Forbes,  from autocratic to democratic, transformational to servant, coaching to ethical, and many more.

The leaders people choose to follow, those who earn trust and inspire genuine commitment, share something much deeper than just a leadership style. They are keenly aware of the world their teams are navigating. They understand the pressures, the pace, and the uncertainty, and they know how to position themselves and their teams to navigate that world with clarity and grace.

Whatever leadership style you favour, there is one universal truth:

In leadership, habits speak louder than intentions

Some habits, even small ones, can quietly erode trust, credibility and connection.

Over the past 40 years, as an employee, a colleague, a coach and a main board director, I’ve seen these habits surface at every level of leadership.

Here are ten of the most memorable.

1. “Thanks, buddy.”

I once had a boss who called everyone buddy.

On the surface, it sounds warm, even friendly, but when used mindlessly, it becomes a throwaway gesture that feels patronising rather than personal.

Names matter. As Dale Carnegie famously said, “There is nothing sweeter than the sound of one’s own name.”

Use it. 

2. The endless “What else?”

Imagine finishing a meeting only to be met with the same question every time: “What else?”
Even when there is nothing else, the question keeps coming, as though silence is unacceptable.

Sometimes there really isn’t anything else; trust that you’ll be told if there is.

3. Eyes on the screen

One of the simplest gifts we can offer another human being is eye contact.

Yet I’ve worked with leaders who kept their eyes glued to their computer screens while I was discussing issues of real importance.

If the screen wins, the relationship loses. As Dale Ludwig put it: “It’s hard to hold a conversation with people when you’re not seeing them.”

4. The Monday morning marathon

After a long week and a short weekend, the last thing anyone needs is a three-hour Monday-morning meeting to recount the previous week and preview the next.

It’s unnecessary, draining, and it sets the wrong tone for the week.

Choose another day and let people get to work.

5. The phantom leader

Some leaders speak passionately about how important their people are, yet are rarely seen, and when they are around, they spend more time talking about themselves than learning about their team.

Presence matters, not just physical presence, but also emotional presence.

Spend time with your people, they’ll remember it.

6. The haircut 

Years ago, I stepped out briefly to get a haircut before the office Christmas party.
When I returned, my boss had rolled up his sleeves and was “helping”,  which meant causing chaos, stress and confusion.

The truth?

I didn’t need a haircut for this to happen; he was always hovering, interfering, and “fixing.”

Support your team, but don’t suffocate them.

As Theodore Roosevelt said: “The leader leads, and the boss drives.”

7. The voice of doom

Most people only call their boss when they need help, clarity or support, and when they do, the least they hope for is a warm tone.

I’ve had bosses who were good leaders but sounded so gruff on the phone that I regretted calling the moment they answered.

If your tone makes people dread speaking to you, they’ll stop speaking to you.

8. Talking over people

Few things are more demoralising than presenting to a leader who constantly interrupts, finishes your sentences or talks over your points.

It sends one clear message: “What I have to say matters more than what you have to say.”

Let people finish and then respond.

9. Management-speak overload

“Button down the risks.”
“Move the needle.”
“Low‑hanging fruit.”
“Let’s take this offline.”
“Give 110%.”

Jargon is the enemy of clarity.

As Marty Rubin wrote: “Jargon is a sure sign that intelligence has lost its way.”

Speak like a human.

10. The customer isn’t always right

You’ve handled a complaint professionally, courteously and thoroughly, even though the customer is clearly wrong.

The customer escalates their complaint.

Your team leader and manager support you, but once it reaches the executive floor, the customer gets everything they want and more.

When leaders override their team to appease a customer who is clearly wrong, they send a message that echoes loudly:

“I don’t trust your judgment”, and that message lingers.

If you recognise yourself in any of these habits…

Good.

Awareness is the beginning of change.

Leadership isn’t about perfection; it’s about presence, humility, and the willingness to grow.

There are many more habits like these, and every leader has at least one.

If you’d like to share yours, add them to the comments so others can learn from them.

Your team deserves a leader worth following, and you owe it to them to become one

If you’d like to develop your leadership communication skills:

If you’d to develop your leadership communication skills:

– Book yourself onto a powerful public speaking course.

– Invest in some really good one to one public speaking coaching.

– Get yourself some excellent presentation training

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