In her TED Talk, ‘10 ways to have a better conversation’ Celeste Headlee suggests that “Conversational competence might be the single most overlooked skill we fail to teach.”
At Mindful Presenter we share a similar view and have shared our belief that, ‘Without communication skills, the ability to progress in the working world and in life itself, would be nearly impossible. Public speaking is the most important skill in the world because it holds the key to communicating with confidence, clarity and impact.’
You can read more about this in, ‘The Most Important Skill in the World Today – Public Speaking’
The best presentations are conversations
I wrote about this almost a decade ago in my article, ‘The best presentations are conversations’, in which I wrote:
‘The conversation is always about movement:
What your audience think, feel and do today.
Moving to
What you want them to think, feel and do tomorrow.’
What does it take to have a better conversation
I really like Celeste’s ten suggestions. As we take a look at them, I’d like you to consider the word conversation in the context of a presentation.
Number one: Don’t multitask
In the context of a presentation I’m not talking about looking at your phone while you’re speaking. As Celeste Headlee advises, I’m also talking about being present.
I wrote about this in a previous article, ‘Presenting With Impact – Presence is the key to success’
The multi-tasking I’m referring to is consciousness. Don’t think about, whether your audience will like you, what will happen if you freeze or if they ask you a question you don’t know the answer to. Just be in the room fully.
Focus entirely on connecting with your audience rather than presenting to them.
Number two: Don’t pontificate
I like the way the Cambridge Dictionary describes the word: ‘To speak or write and give your opinion about something as if you knew everything about it and as if only your opinion was correct.’
Celeste puts it beautifully as she says: “If you want to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog.”
Number three: Use open-ended questions
If you want your presentation to be a better conversation don’t make it one way. Involve your audience by asking questions. As Celeste suggests, “Use open-ended questions. In this case, take a cue from journalists. Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how.”
Number four: Go with the flow
I believe this is closely aligned to multi-tasking. While you are presenting it’s very easy for your mind to wander off and make judgements and assumptions about what your audience are thinking. For a better conversation, be aware that, “Thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind.”
Number five: If you don’t know, say that you don’t know
In tip number three we invite you to ask your audience questions. I’m mindful of the fact that one of many presenters greatest fears is being asked a question you don’t know the answer to. The old saying ‘honesty is the best policy’, has stood the test of time because it’s true. The moment you try to bluff your way through a question you don’t know the answer to, you lose your credibility.
Try this instead.
Step into the question. In other words, take a step forward towards your audience. If you are seated then lean forward into the table or desk.
Have you noticed how common it is for people to be on the ‘back foot’ when they don’t know the answer to a question?
Your challenge is to be on the front foot and to step into or lean into the question.
Acknowledge the person who asked the question with eye contact. After that, bring the rest of the room into your response with eye contact too. Once you’ve moved forward and made eye contact, confidently say, ‘I don’t know, but I’ll find out and let you know’.
Number six: Don’t equate your experience with theirs
Celeste sums this up perfectly:
“Don’t equate your experience with theirs. If they’re talking about having lost a family member, don’t start talking about the time you lost a family member. If they’re talking about the trouble they’re having at work, don’t tell them about how much you hate your job. It’s not the same. It is never the same. All experiences are individual. And, more importantly, it is not about you. You don’t need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you’ve suffered. Somebody asked Stephen Hawking once what his IQ was, and he said, “I have no idea. People who brag about their IQs are losers.”
Number seven: Try not to repeat yourself
When we repeat ourselves in a presentation our audience drift off. The only thing that should be repeated in a better conversation and a really good presentation is your key message. Apart from that try not to keep repeating yourself.
Number eight: Stay out of the weeds
When I think of the ‘weeds’ it reminds me of another article I wrote some time ago, ‘Most business presentations are far too long – Less really is more!’ In that article I wrote: ‘When attending future business presentations take note of how much of it was:
– Of relevance to you?
– What you already knew?
– An unnecessary level of detail
– Repetition
– Self-promotion for the presenter
– Of value to you
Did you feel that the same presentation could have been given in less than half the time?
Cutting a presentation in half often results in greater clarity.
The message is more likely to be delivered with impact.
We need to cut out the superfluous noise’
These are ‘weeds’.
Number nine: Listen
It goes without saying that we need to listen very carefully to our audience when we’re presenting. I’d like to extend this to listening to them long before they attend our presentation.
Find out as much as you can about your audience in advance. Learn about their age, backgrounds, roles, and level of experience but don’t stop there.
Once you know more about their level of knowledge and experience on the topic you are presenting on ask them in advance what matters most to them.
Don’t make assumptions that what you have to say will be of interest or value to them. Ask them what would be of interest or value.
Phone them or send them an email telling them what you will be speaking about and ask them how helpful that would be. Ask them what they want, need, and expect from you.
Number ten: Be brief
Don’t be like a comedian and save the punchline to the end. Get straight to the point.
You can watch Celeste Headlee’s full TED Talk here:
If you’d like to have a better conversation:
– Book yourself onto a powerful public speaking course.
– Invest in some really good one to one public speaking coaching.
– Get yourself some excellent presentation training
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