If you worry about not speaking up at meetings at work as much as you’d like to, or as others may like you to, you are not alone.
It’s a global phenomenon.
Countless people, regardless of age, experience or seniority worry about speaking up at meetings every day.
Why do so many people worry about speaking up at meetings?
There are countless reasons but here are some of the common ones:
– Imposter syndrome
– Being an introvert
– Lack of confidence
– Fear of negative judgement
– Perfectionism
– Negative past experiences
– Limited beliefs
– You don’t think others will value your perspective
Not everyone feels the need speak up at meetings at work
I spent most of my career in meetings in the corporate world and it would be dishonest to say that I didn’t feel some of these things from time to time. Despite that, I managed to climb my way slowly up the ladder because there were other more helpful reasons why I didn’t always embrace the idea of speaking up at meetings.
I often didn’t feel the need to speak up at meetings at work because:
– Sometimes I needed time to ponder on and reflect more about the information or idea before saying something
– I just didn’t have a specific view on the topic
– Others were dominating the conversation, and it was those who spoke the loudest who were heard
– I knew I had limited influence and often no influence
– I felt the meeting was unnecessary
– It felt as though the decision had already been made and altering it was not an option
– I just didn’t need to be in the room
Please don’t worry about the need to speak up at meetings
If none of my experiences resonate with you and you simply feel uncomfortable about speaking up at meetings, try this instead:
1- Give yourself permission to speak – remember there is a reason you are in the room, the same as everyone else.
2– Remember that nobody has the monopoly on thoughts, suggestions and ideas, even if they may act as they do.
3- Study the agenda in advance pick out the key areas you may feel more comfortable speaking about and where your thoughts could be helpful
4- Anticipate issues, challenges and questions – Give some thought as to what could come up in the meeting and prepare for it.
Keep it real
5- Don’t try to change the world, just say what’s on your mind; it doesn’t have to be huge.It could be the slightest thing such as agreeing with someone or asking them to tell you more.
6- Remember that someone is just about to say what you’re thinking and if they say it before you, then you’d probably kick yourself afterwards, so say it anyway.
7- Contribute early – the longer you leave it the harder it gets to speak.
8- Remember that everyone in the meeting room is the same as you, no more, no less.
9- Don’t focus on impressing your colleagues or client – ask yourself how you can help rather than how can you impress.
Calm down
10- Before you enter the meeting room take some time to connect with yourself first. Adopt a short breath, meditation or visualisation practice that feels good to you.
11- Ask questions if you don’t completely understand something or just want to know more.
12- When you want to speak, take a deep breath, smile and lean forward slightly.
13- Learn from others. Find someone you admire for their speaking skills in meetings and watch and listen to them closely. Tell them outside of the meeting that you admire their style and ask for some advice.
14- Confide in your boss if you can and ask for some feedback, help and advice.
Keep learning
15- Book yourself on a good public speaking or improvisation course.
16- Remember just how far you’ve come already and that you’ve earned your place in the meeting.
17- When you look around the meeting room don’t see a room full of colleagues, clients, management or stakeholders. See a room full of son’s, daughters, brothers, sisters. Perhaps there are a few mothers and fathers in the room too.
18- Do some vocal exercises at home; get comfortable with your own voice.
19- Get to the meeting room a little earlier and make a little small talk with others before the meeting starts.
20- Own your seat – sit up straight, tall and proud. Smile and tell yourself you’ve got this.
It’s what you do outside the meetings that matter the most
Please remember that whether you are an introvert, extrovert or any other kind of ‘vert’, it’s not how you perform in meetings that matters the most, it’s what you do and achieve when the meetings are over.
If you’d like help presenting effectively at meetings:
– Book yourself onto a powerful public speaking course.
– Invest in some really good one to one public speaking coaching.
– Get yourself some excellent presentation training
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