A best man speech doesn’t have to be so anxiety provoking.
Many people find the very thought of public speaking and presenting very daunting. Being chosen as a best man naturally brings a sense of responsibility and expectation to entertain and make a good impression.
Of all the speeches we help people with at Mindful Presenter, the best man’s speech is clearly the one that people are the most anxious about.
Why do we worry about the best man speech?
The anxiety comes from believing we must be:
– Super clever
– Really funny
– Entertaining
– Flawless
If that’s not pressure enough, we then focus on the best man speech being:
– Heartfelt
– Respectful
– Sincere
– Balanced
I’m sure you can think of quite a few other perceived challenges.
The truth about the best man speech
If the wedding guests wanted to hear a slick, polished, very funny and entertaining speaker, they’d probable pay a sizeable sum of money to go to the theatre or a comedy show.
The best man speech is not either
It’s a genuine opportunity to celebrate a couple who are excited and committed to spending the rest of their lives together. It’s a platform to authentically share a few kind words with their friends and family.
In doing so, it offers an opportunity to lighten things up a little with some humour to help the wedding guests to smile, relax and enjoy a beautiful celebration.
The best man speech is not about:
– The best man
– Impressing the wedding guests
– Being a perfect speaker
– Telling jokes
It’s a lovely chance to tell people about your relationship with the couple and your friend, who has chosen you to be his best man. It’s an opportunity to connect with the couples’ friends and family.
That said, I realise that every best man wants to SMASH IT. Who doesn’t?
There is a way to do that without overthinking, agonising, or focusing on trying to stun an audience as though you are performing at The London Palladium.
The Best Man Speech – How to keep it simple and SMASH IT
Smile and make your audience smile!
Before you utter a single word, make sure you stand tall, breathe, and smile.
Do not say a word until you’ve smiled.
We don’t really need scientific research to tell us how good it feels to smile and be on the receiving end of a smile. It’s something we were each born doing and spent most of our childhood enjoying. That said, sometimes it’s worth reminding ourselves of the important things in life.
Smiling:
– Stimulates the production of endorphins
– Lowers your blood pressure
– Reduces anxiety
– Is highly contagious
If that doesn’t work for you the how about this:
Research suggests that one smile generates the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 bars of chocolate.
How to make your audience smile
Once you’ve connected with your audience with your own smile, you can tell them:
– Why you were surprised to be asked to be the best man.
– The funniest or quirkiest thing you know about the groom.
– A funny story about how you became friends.
– Why you never thought the groom would get married or find the perfect wife.
– A quote, e.g. “My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.” — Winston Churchill
Make it all about the groom!
Tell the couple,s friends and family a little about the groom:
– How you became friends.
– The qualities you admire most in him.
– His greatest achievement that we can learn from.
– What makes you proud to be his best man.
– Challenges they have faced that you’re proud of.
– Any interesting hobbies, trends or fashion have they followed.
Anecdote – short stories about the groom
You may want to share one or two short but interesting stories about the groom.
It could be:
– An embarrassing moment.
– Something bold, wild, or daring he once did.
– Where he once helped you or came to your rescue.
– His performance at school if you knew him then.
– Something about him that has always intrigued you.
Share – your feelings about the groom
Tell the couple’s friends and family how you feel about the groom and his wife.
– Why you’ve stayed friends for so long.
– How he makes you feel.
– What his friendship means to you.
– What makes you happy about his finding true love.
Highlight – how lucky the groom is!
Turn your attention to the bride.
It could be:
– The first moment you knew they were destined to be together.
– Something about what qualities she brings to your friend’s life that you know will make him so happy.
– One or two things you really like about them together and their relationship.
– Why you believe she is the perfect match for your friend.
Insight – Provide a few words of wisdom
Before you toast the newlyweds, you may want to think about leaving them with a few words of wisdom. It could be your own personal thoughts, a quotation or poem. Here’s an example:
On Marriage – By Kahlil Gibran
‘Then Almitra spoke again and said, and what of Marriage, master?
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond
of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each
other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near
together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow
not in each other’s shadow.’
I realise that is quite a long, deep poem which many not be for everyone but there are plently of others to choose from.
Toast – It’s time to raise a toast!
Keep it short and sweet as the rest of your speech.
It could be as simple as:
“Now I’d like to raise a glass to the happy couple. May they share a beautiful life together full of happiness, peace and bliss.
Here’s to the Bride, the Groom!
Remember
The best man speech is about your friend and his new wife. It’s your opportunity as someone who knows the groom well to celebrate him, and show your support for the happy couple.
Keep your focus on them!
Jason Manford shares some good advice with Tom Allen on the Chris Evans Breakfast Show.
If you’d like help with your Best Man Speech:
– Book yourself onto a powerful public speaking course.
– Invest in some really good one to one public speaking coaching.
– Get yourself some excellent presentation training
Image courtesy of Canva.com
