If you are terrified or even just a little scared of public speaking and presenting you are not alone.
For more than a decade we have met and helped countless people who are terrified of public speaking and presenting. For many people it is a very distressing and disabling fear. A YouGov survey suggests that ‘15% of Britons admit to having an overwhelming and debilitating fear of having to stand up and speak in front of people.’
From the 85% of people who don’t admit to an ‘overwhelming and debilitating fear’, our own (Mindful Presenter Ltd) survey of over 200 people told us that:
‘Regardless of age, position, experience or even whether people enjoy public speaking and presenting or believe they are good at it, most people feel nervous about doing it. We asked over 200 people, ‘have you ever felt nervous about presenting to a group of people?’
72.4% of respondents said, ‘yes, most of the time’.
The National Institute of Mental Health goes as far as to suggest that, 75% of people ranked the fear of public speaking as their number one fear.
Why are so many people terrified of public speaking?
In our public speaking and presentation skills training workshops we see senior professionals, freeze, cry and panic when it’s their turn to present. There are many reasons for this, although in our experience the top 3 relate to:
– A fear of being negatively judged
– Fear of forgetting what to say
– A fear of being asked a question you don’t know the answer to
Among the plethora of other possible reasons the fear could relate to:
– Having had a bad experience in the past
– Inexperience
– A lack of preparation
– Perfectionism
– A social anxiety disorder
– Little or no training
Where do you start?
Contrary to popular belief, there isn’t a magical quick fix. That said, please don’t stop reading because there is plenty you can do to manage and overcome your anxiety if you’re terrified of public speaking.
A good place to start is by asking yourself honestly what it is you believe you’re afraid of. Get yourself a pen and paper, take a few deep breaths, sit quietly with your hand on your heart and do the following exercise.
“When I present, I’m afraid that…”
1……………………………………………………………….
2……………………………………………………………….
3……………………………………………………………….
Write down what comes to mind when you make that enquiry.
Now take a few more deep breaths and with your hand on your heart ask yourself:
“If that fear came true the worst thing that could happen to me and my audience is…”
1……………………………………………………………..
2……………………………………………………………..
3……………………………………………………………..
Write down what comes to mind when you make that enquiry.
Now take a few more deep breaths and with your hand on your heart ask yourself:
“The likelihood (as a percentage) of this fear coming true the next time I present is…”
(100% certainty means it’s absolutely going to happen and 0% means it’s not)
1………………………………………………………………
2……………………………………………………………..
3……………………………………………………………..
Write down what comes to mind when you make that enquiry.
Whatever you’re afraid of, if you’re really honest with yourself the likelihood of those fears coming true is likely to be very low.
Now what?
Awareness is a good place to start. After all, how can you change anything in life unless you have some level of understanding of what’s going on. Knowledge is a great starting point but on its own it doesn’t create change.
Action creates change
If you’re terrified of public speaking and presenting or simply feel more anxious about it than you’d like to, some of the following ideas may help you.
If you’re serious about change, the key is not just to read the ideas but actually try them out repeatedly.
I’ve written many articles on this challenge and shared lots of helpful ideas over the last decade.
Here 13 of my favourites:
1. Don’t try to be perfect
“If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.” Leo Tolstoy
The quest for perfection in public speaking is a major source of anxiety.
Remember this:
– Nobody wants to see a slick, polished, memorised presentation.
– The world is crying out for authenticity.
– If you’re trying hard to be perfect you won’t enjoy it and your audience won’t enjoy it either.
2. Prepare mindfully
“90% of how well the talk will go is determined before the speaker steps on the platform.” Somers White
Internalise your message; don’t try to memorise it. In other words, understand your message so clearly that if you lost all of your notes you could still speak. Imagine if you didn’t have notes or slides to support you, instead you had belief in and clarity of your message
Practice and listen to the vocal expression of your message; how you actually sound. Don’t obsess over it, just ask yourself what’s helping and hindering you verbally and begin to work on it.
Practice and understand the way you deliver your message non-verbally. In other words, how you look and how you move when you speak. Don’t obsess over it, just ask yourself what’s helping and hindering you non-verbally and begin to work on it.
3. Remember how far you’ve come
What we think, we become.” Buddha
Reflect on just how far you’ve come. Everything you’ve achieved so far and the things that inspire and empower you to succeed.
Remind yourself that the reason you have been chosen to present is because you know something that your audience don’t know but need to know.
Remember all the things that you’ve already achieved that you thought you may never achieve or took some courage.
4. Focus on connecting instead of presenting
In my experience, most people don’t truly enjoy presenting and a great number don’t like attending them either.
Everyone likes connecting!
Don’t set out to impress your audience or perform to them.
If your audience want to see a performance, they’ll pay to go the theatre. From a presenter and public speaker, they want to hear someone speak who:
– Knows what they are talking about
– Cares about what they are speaking about
– Can make a difference to the lives through what they know and care about
That comes from connecting, not presenting.
5. Change the way you look at things
Focus on your strengths as a presenter rather than your limiting beliefs and bad habits. We all have strengths; we just have to look for them.
– See your audience as people who are no different to yourself; someone’s son, daughter, brother, sister, mother or father. Please don’t just see colleagues, clients and stakeholders.
– Focus on how you can help your audience and the difference you can make to their lives, rather than showing them how good you are at your job.
– Sees the opportunity to connect with people and make them feel something in a world where so many people feel indifferent.
6. Know that it’s good to feel nervous
“There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.” Mark Twain
In my mind, if I don’t feel some level of anxiety when presenting, it suggests to me that I don’t care. If I don’t care about my audience, I feel I have no right imposing my voice on them; there are plenty of other ways of making a living.
The mindset of a mindful presenter is clear that public speaking and presenting isn’t a natural activity. Even the most seasoned presenters feel a little nervous; it’s because they care.
7. Talk to TAZ
Do you sometimes hear an unhelpful and annoying voice in your mind, or is that just me?
You know the one, it says things like:
‘I’m a terrible public speaker’
‘I just know I’ll freeze’
‘What if they don’t like me’
Many of us let our inner voice say horrible things to us that we wouldn’t dream of letting our best friends tell us. Don’t ignore this inner voice, give it a name and talk to it.
I wrote about this voice in a previous article; ‘The Presenters Inner Critic – 3 steps to taming it’.
I call my voice TAZ.
‘Often, I’ll listen carefully and then tell TAZ what I think. I will tell him he is simply exaggerating or even lying to me. Sometimes I tell him that what he is saying is nonsense. A great deal of the time I simply tell him to leave me alone because I’m not in the mood for his antics.
Sometimes I thank him for his opinion and for keeping me on my guard. I now know that it’s just his strange way of reminding me to be the best that I can. I always, always close our conversation by reminding him that I’m the boss. We now have an understanding that he gets to do what I tell him and not the other way around.’
8. Calm down
If you’re terrified of public speaking follow these 3 simples steps a few times each day. Once you’re familiar with it do it just before you present too.
Step 1– Sit down with your spine straight and supported but in a way that you are comfortable.
Step 2– Close your eyes and focus your attention on your breath. Notice how it feels each time you breathe in and each time you breathe out.
Step 3 – When your mind wanders, and you can be certain that it will, bring your focus back to your breath and just notice how it feels again. You don’t need to challenge or judge your thoughts just notice and feel each breath. Each time your mind wanders return it to your breath; don’t worry about how many times you have to do so.
9. Manage your physiology
Hold in your mind an image of what a confident presenter looks like.
Picture the way they stand, move, breathe and gesture. Pay attention in your mind as to how they own the space they are speaking in. Once you have that image in mind instruct your body to emulate it.
Don’t wait until the day of your presentation to do this. Practice managing your physiology repeatedly while preparing your presentation.
Before you stand to speak find a quiet, safe place and practice this:
– Stand tall and straight with your head held high, feet shoulder or hip width apart.
– Open up your chest.
– Jump up as high as you can 4 times. When you land for the final time, feel how strong and connected you are to the ground beneath you.
– Take a few deep breaths.
– Smile as widely as you can.
– Do a little shadow boxing on the spot.
The moment you then stand to actually speak, before you utter a word, try this:
– Take a moment to breathe
– Bend your knees very slightly, feel your feet connecting to the ground beneath you
– Smile again – don’t be in a rush to speak; take a moment to breathe.
10. Make it content rich
Make sure that everything you say is of value to your audience. A presentation fraught with data that serves no tangible value is pointless, regardless as to how well it is delivered. Give your audience only what really matters, is relevant, significant and helpful. If it does not support your message and enrich their experience leave it out.
If your content is poor and you know it, you will feel anxious. Don’t take the risk.
‘At Mindful Presenter we coach professionals to focus on the ‘gold’. Imagine you are panning for gold. You can be absolutely certain that most of what you will find is dirt, dust and gravel. If you filter long and hard enough you just may find a piece of gold.
11. Don’t forget to breathe
Breathing is not only the most effective key to public speaking, it’s the kindest gift you can give to yourself and your audience.
Taking a few deep breaths when we are stressed, anxious, uncertain or in pain is something we’ve all been told countless times since we were small children. Despite that, how many of us actually do it?
Deep breathing before your stand to speak changes everything physiologically, mentally and emotionally.
It is of enormous value to you and your audience.
The moment you stand to present, stand tall, straight, smile and breathe. Minutes before you even stand to speak ,make sure you take a few long, slow and deep breaths too.
“Fear is excitement without breath.” Robert Heller
12. Get some stabilisers
Remember when you were a small child and you first learned to ride a bike?
You didn’t just leap onto the bike and speed off into the sunset. You needed a couple of coaches.
Your first coach was probably that extra pair of wheels in the form of stabilisers, but your greatest coach was the person who picked you up each time you fell off the bicycle.
They dusted you down, gave you some pointers, set you on your way again and each time you fell they repeated the cycle. They encouraged and supported you, told you where you were going wrong and gave you that crucial guidance which steered you in the right direction.
Each time you thought you wouldn’t make it they reassured you that you would
When you couldn’t work out why something was going wrong they explained why. If you needed them to just hold onto you for a while they were always there.
When you first learned to:
– Read, you had a coach.
– Drive, you had a coach.
– Work, you had a coach.
When you think back, everything you learned how to do someone taught you how to do it.
13. Find and value your own voice
Our voice is something we each use every day but most of us never really hear it for ourselves.
Many of us take the ability to speak for granted
That can mean that our voice operates a little like a thermostat with its own default setting. It stays at that setting all of the time, unless and until, we recognise it and stretch it.
Stretch and challenge your own voice by practicing vocal exercises
Take some random paragraphs from one of your favourite books and read them out loud to yourself.
Start with your normal reading voice, then read it loudly.
Switch to reading the same paragraphs with a high level of passion. Read as though you are angry or excited.
“The Human Voice is the most perfect instrument of all” –Arvo Pärt
If you are terrified of public speaking and need some help
– Book yourself onto a powerful public speaking course.
– Invest in some really good one to one public speaking coaching.
– Get yourself some excellent presentation training
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